HOW NOT TO TAKE CRITICISM.

 I saw a post on a film-making social media group recently asking the question "how do you deal with negative criticism?" and I realised that that's not a subject that people actually talk about in very much detail beyond the sentiment of "oh, I just try to ignore it".

But I think it's actually a really good question, and one that got me thinking a lot about my own work and the times when I've encountered negativity towards it.

To start with, I think every person who has tried to be creative professionally (as opposed to just simply doing something because you enjoy it) has that sense of "I really want people to like what I make" at their core - and when people don't like what you make, it can feel like an attack on the very bit of your soul that makes you want to indulge in creative pursuits in the first place. 

Whenever you release something you have worked on into the wild you're exposing a pretty deep vulnerability about yourself to people - often people you don't know - and inviting them to comment on it. I've released enough of my own work and know enough people who have done similar to confidently say that premieres and festival screenings are often excruciating experiences for that exact reason - it's an environment in which you're forced to confront and acknowledge that weird vulnerability; "I made this thing, and I want you to like it and I'm going to feel bad if you don't."

The other salient point here is that negative criticism often resonates far more deeply than positive feedback, precisely because of how it pokes at that vulnerability. Whereas if I make something and people tell me they like it, that's often accompanied by an underwhelming, awkward sentiment of "great, that was the idea" - not in an egotistical "well, obviously, everything I make is fantastic" kind of way, but in a sort of "thank God it did the thing it was supposed to" kind of way. I think for a lot of creative people, positive feedback is invariably met more with relief than pride.

But negative criticism can keep you up at night if you let it - "What was wrong with it? Am I not as good at this as I thought I am? Am I wasting my time? What's the point in putting all this hard work into something if people don't like it?..."

So my first thought on answering the question, "how do you deal with negative criticism?", is perhaps that: start by recognising that it's a natural feeling to be defensive and maybe even hurt when someone criticises something you've worked hard on - and once you accept that, put it aside and try and focus on objectivity.

Which brings me to the next point - invariably, whenever I have put something out, the positive feedback vastly outweighs the bad. But stupid human flaws and emotions can stop you from recognising that if you let them. It's stupid and self-defeatist, but we'll often completely gloss over ten people telling you they liked your thing to laser-focus in on the one person that tells you they didn't.

To coin a stupid metaphor, it's like eating a really good bowl of soup, but chipping your tooth with the spoon at the end - tomorrow, you'll completely forget about the 15 minutes of soupy enjoyment you experienced, but the first thing you'll think of when you wake up is your chipped tooth.

So that's my second point - objectivity is utterly vital, because it allows us to look at the experience as a whole and not just the one unpleasant bit that is desperately trying to get your mental attention.

Lastly, I think the sentiment of "oh, I just try and ignore it" can actually be kind of dangerous. Perhaps it's better for you from an overall mental health point of view - it would certainly be nice to be so unaffected by what people think that your work that you can genuinely just tune it out - but equally, a total failure to acknowledge negative feedback can only lead to missing opportunities for growth and improvement.

Which isn't to say that all negative feedback is valid - some people gleefully accept the invitation to stick the boot into other people - but being realistic about yourself and your abilities is crucial to self-improvement. I've met a [statistically unusually high] number of people throughout the years whose response to criticism is to try and win gold in the mental gymnastics by convincing themselves that, actually, what they did wasn't bad, it's just that the world isn't ready to accept their genius yet. 

If wallowing in insecurity and defeatism is an unhealthy way to react to criticism, then wallowing in self-aggrandisement definitely is. I'd much rather uncertainty and self-doubt be contributing factors in my creative output than rampant, unfounded egotism.

So that's the final part of my answer - is my hurt response to negative criticism just simply down to that fact that it's true? And if it is true, then what's the answer?

Well, that bit is simple: Acknowledge it and try again. Make something else. Make something better. Try and use that same objectivity to spot the weaknesses in your work. Grow. Improve. Time and distance are by far the best tools for self-reflection. When the emotional post-project-completion  baggage you are carrying is set down, then that's often when objectivity is most easily achieved.

So that's my answer: Acknowledge your immediate emotional reaction to criticism as valid, then mentally separate yourself from your work and view it as dispassionately as you can. Through as unbiased a lens as you can muster, summarise what you did well and what you need to work on - then work on it.

And if that fails, just try and ignore it.